Ten Things I Would Tell My Younger Self – Part 1

Last January, I turned forty. It was a hard day. My life did not look like I wanted it to look by the time I turned forty. I was living in a town I didn’t want to live in. I had moved away from all my friends and from the job I loved. I was thankful for my husband and my kids and my health, but I felt like something was missing. Life just didn’t look like I expected it to at forty. 

Over the last year, I have spent a lot of time analyzing my life. Why do I do the things I do? What would I go back and do differently? What have I learned over the last 40 years? What can I change and what do I need to accept?

We are in the middle of a series at church called, Dear Younger Self: A Letter from Your Future. The idea is to imagine what advice your future self would give you that you could apply to your life today. 

Since I’ve spent the last year processing and analyzing, I thought I would share my list of 10 things I would write to my younger self. 

1. It’s OK to Make Mistakes

That one is hard to even write. I have spent most of my life trying to be perfect, trying not to fail. I took easier classes in high school and college because getting an “A” was more important to me than pushing myself. But I can see now that I was only robbing myself. I could have learned more, stretched myself more, accomplished more. I was so afraid of making a mistake, of disappointing someone, of failing. 

I would tell my younger self; it is ok to make mistakes. It is ok to fail. Failure doesn’t need to be an ending, but a beginning. We can start fresh and begin again. Failure is an opportunity to learn. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It shows that we tried, we stepped out, we took the risk. Maybe we didn’t get it right this time, but we can learn and grow and change and next time, that might just be the time we succeed!

It is not success that is our life, it is instruction. It is the things we learn and the wisdom we gain. Sometimes these life lessons come through failure and mistakes. Hold tight to the wisdom that is gained, and do not be afraid to step out and try again. 

2. Life is Made Up of Seasons, Don’t Get Stuck

There have been many times in the last forty years when life was hard. So very, very hard. I have suffered great loss, walked through many days of grief and pain. There have been days and weeks that I have questioned how I was going to make it through. 

I have walked through seasons of depression, through anxiety and panic attacks, through rejection and betrayal, through heartbreak and death. But there have also been seasons of joy, seasons of rest and renewal, seasons of happiness and abundance, seasons of life and growth. The key is to not get stuck in a season. You might be in a winter season, but I promise you, hold on and spring is coming! It always does. 

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

3. We Can Choose Our Attitude

Early in my marriage, I told my husband that he was making me mad. He replied, “No one can make you mad, you choose to get mad.” That did not help my anger! At the time it only made me more frustrated. But now, I can see that he was right. 

We get to choose our attitude. We do not have to be controlled by the actions of those around us. We can choose joy even in the midst of sorrow. We can choose to be grateful in every situation. We can choose to forgive. We can choose to praise. We can choose to pause and process instead of reacting and lashing out. We have a choice. 

God created us with a free will. He gave us a choice. No one has the right to take that away. Jesus died so that we might be set free. That includes the freedom to choose our attitude. 

When we allow our attitude to be controlled by the actions and circumstances of those around us, we become a slave to those people and circumstances. But it doesn’t have to be that way! We have the freedom to choose, no one can take that away from us. 

** 10 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self will continue on next week’s blog post. **

Kelly Joy's Blog

Advice, Younger Self