Years ago, I heard a story about a little girl who had the nickname, “Tiger.” She was a wild child. Unruly, disobedient, even kinda crazy. Her parent’s loved her, but she was a lot to handle. One day it dawned on the parents that every time they called her name, they were speaking the wildness of an animal over her. They decided to try a little experiment. They began to call her “Angel” instead of “Tiger.”
Almost immediately her behavior began to change. She started to obey, she settled down, and she became a delight to be around. The words that were being spoken over her every day were affecting who she was becoming.
When one of my boys was little, he was a handful! I felt like all I did was correct and discipline this poor child. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure I liked him. I was so tired. I just wanted him to listen!
One night, I went to a Girl’s Night Out with a bunch of moms from my church. I sat at the table talking to my friends about my son and how difficult he had been lately. I thought I would feel better about my situation because I had a group of friends who supported me and encouraged me. Instead, when I got home I felt terrible! I realized I had not spoken one nice thing about my son all evening. All I had done was complain about how difficult he had been lately.
I was heartbroken. I never wanted that to happen again. I promised myself that would be the last time I would talk about this child in such a negative way. I began to speak life TO this child and ABOUT this child. I looked for the good and said it out loud. I told him what a good boy he was. I told him how proud I was to be his mom. I reminded him that he was smart and obedient and loved.
I began to see a shift in his behavior. He didn’t change over night, but he did start to obey more often. And my focus shifted from the difficulties to the good things.
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 ESV
If you are a mom tonight who is tired, worn out, and exhausted, I get it. I’ve been there. If you feel like you have tried everything and it is not getting better- I understand how you feel. I’ve been there too. But let me encourage you! YOU are doing a great job mom! God chose YOU to be that child’s mom. He knew exactly what you needed and exactly what your child needed and He put you together. YOU can do this! Speak life over that child. Choose to find something good and speak it out loud. If you are not encouraging your child, who is?
Can I pray for you?
Dear Heavenly Father, Tonight I pray for the tired moms. The exhausted moms. The moms who have tried everything they know to try and it still doesn’t seem to be working. I ask that You would give them strength. Fill them with fresh energy, fresh ideas and creativity, and a desire to speak life over their children. Jesus be our strength when we are weak. Amen.
Kelly Joy's Blog
I didn’t choose to be a female pastor. I merely told God I would do whatever He asked. I would go wherever He sent me. I would be whatever He wanted me to be. And He called me to be a pastor.
Trust me, I know all the verses. You know, the ones about how a woman is not supposed to teach. How she is not supposed to have authority over a man. The one that says she is supposed to be quiet at church and ask her husband questions at home. I’ve read the verses. I have lamented over those verses. “God, how can you call me to be a pastor? Don’t you know your Bible seems to tell me that is not okay?”
And yet God whispers to my heart, “Daughter, I have called you to be a pastor.”
Sometimes God doesn’t explain Himself. He just asks us to obey. He leads us down a path we don’t understand. A difficult path. A path that longs to make us scream, “God, it would be so much easier if you would put me on another path! Why do I have to walk this road?”
I wanted to be a pastor’s wife. You know, a ministry position that is perfectly acceptable for women. No one ever tells a pastor’s wife that God hasn’t really called her to that position. No one tells her that because she is a pastor’s wife she obviously cannot understand Scripture and can’t be trusted with any interpretation of the Bible. No one says that a woman can’t be a pastor’s wife. Because that is a perfectly acceptable ministry position for a woman.
I’m not saying that it is easy to be a pastor’s wife. I am fully aware that position comes with a whole bucket of challenges as well. No ministry job is easy. But for a woman to be a pastor? Now that’s a whole different story.
I’ve wanted to quit. I’ve wanted to take the easy route and listen to the critics. What if I just teach women’s Bible study? Most people are okay with that. Or I could teach children. Women are trusted to teach as long as it is training up children. (What is the exact age that it is no longer okay for a woman to teach? I can’t seem to find that verse.) Or perhaps the cliche, I could help in the kitchen. You know, where women belong. Because that’s what Jesus told Martha and Mary right? “Mary, go help your sister Martha in the kitchen because that’s where you belong!”
No, wait! That’s not what Jesus said. He said, “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Mary had chosen what was better!?! But she was sitting on the floor. At the feet of a man. Listening and learning. According to the customs of the time, this was not okay! A woman sitting at a man’s feet sent a very different message. Perhaps, Martha was trying to protect the reputation of her sister. But Jesus never cared much about what other people thought. He cared only what God the Father thought.
I’ve tried to remain silent. What if I just hide the fact that I’m called to be a pastor? I could still read my Bible and pray. Maybe I could be a prayer warrior. That is a great thing for a woman to be! Yes, I’ll do that. I’ll just be quiet and pray. But then, like Jeremiah my bones cry out. “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.”
I cannot! The Word of God is in me like a burning fire. I cannot hold it in. I cannot pretend that God has not called me to be a pastor. It is my very heartbeat.
One day, I couldn’t handle the stress of it and I screamed at God, “Why is this so hard? Why couldn’t I just be a pastor’s wife? It would have been so much easier!” And God, gently and firmly, responded, “Kelly, I have not called you to be a pastor’s wife. I have called you to be a pastor.” Tears stream down my face when I think of those words He spoke over me. Words that brought freedom and refreshing to my very core. Before that I had thought I was called to be a pastor. I knew I was called to ministry, but I didn’t have complete confidence in what that ministry would look like. But after that, I have no doubts. God has called me, a woman, to be a pastor.
The part that breaks my heart the most is that it is not the world that is critical of my calling. It is the church. My non-Christian friends have no problem with me being a pastor. In fact, they encourage me. It is the church that tries to put back chains that God has broken off. It is Christian friends who say that God couldn’t have called me to be a pastor because I am a woman. It is Christians who say that I must not understand Scripture because, according to Paul, a woman could never be a pastor.
I often imagine Paul’s heartbreak if he could see the limitations those words have put on women. Paul loved women in ministry! He commended them often. He spoke very highly of them. If he had known how those words would be applied for the next 2000 years, I imagine he couldn’t grab his eraser fast enough! Paul was in the business of breaking of chains and setting people free. Those words have been used by Christians for years to limit women, to prevent them from fulfilling what God has called them to do, and to put them in bondage and wrap chains around their very core.
As damaging as those verses have been, the Holy Spirit knew what He was doing when He inspired Paul to write those words. Just as Jesus knew what He was saying when he told the disciples in John chapter 6 that they would have to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Those were hard words to swallow, difficult truths to understand. Many of his disciples walked away from him that day. He didn’t call them back to explain it. He wanted those who would trust him even when they didn’t understand. At the last supper, those words would become clear. They were symbolic. We eat the bread to remember his flesh that was broken for us on the cross. We drink the cup to remember his blood that was shed for us. But only those who were willing to trust what they did not understand were invited to the table.
I don’t understand why God allowed Paul to write those words. I could give you the historical context at the time and explain to you why I believe those words were written (and I would be happy to do that if you want to know more), but the reality is, I must obey. I must choose to trust God even when I do not understand. I must have faith that God knows what He is doing even when it does not make sense to me. Because one day, our eyes will be opened and we will stand before Truth Himself. And I want so badly to be able to say, I obeyed You. I served You even when I didn’t understand. I chose to follow You even when people told me I was wrong. I cared more about Your opinion than the opinions of man. I lived out my calling and accomplished everything you placed me on earth to do. Even when I didn’t understand.
*Luke, 10:42, Jeremiah 20:9, John 6:53, Luke 22:19-20
Kelly Joy's Blog
It can be overwhelming to study the Bible. Where is a person supposed to start? What do all these verses mean? How can I know if I am really understanding it?
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit “will guide you into all truth” (John 16:13). That’s great and He will, but there are some things you can do to help understand where the Spirit is guiding you.
Here are three tips to help you get the most out of your Bible study time.
1. Be Consistent
In order for the Holy Spirit to lead you, you need to have a consistent Bible study time. Too often people open their Bibles only when they need an answer to life’s problems. They open the Bible and pray that God will lead them to the right verse.
Sometimes, God will speak to us like that. But most of the time, that is not how God speaks to us.
In order to learn what the voice of the Spirit sounds like, you need to be daily reading the Word of God. Find a Bible reading program that works for you. There are many Bible studies available. Or, you could choose a Bible reading plan. I like the ones available at Bible Study Tools.
Whatever plan you choose, be consistent. Start reading something every day. Even if it is just one or two verses, get in the habit of reading your Bible every day.
As you start reading your Bible every day, you will be amazed at how quickly the Holy Spirit begins to speak to you. You will begin to remember verses throughout your day. You will begin to make wiser choices. You will begin to have a greater love for people.
The Holy Spirit wants to speak to you! He is just waiting for you to want to listen.
2. Ask Questions
Even with consistent Bible study, you will not understand everything you read. Ask questions! Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the answer to your questions. Often, He will!
If you are wondering why a certain verse was included, write it down. Ask the Holy Spirit why that verse was important enough to include in Scripture.
If something doesn’t make sense, ask the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of your understanding.
If you are wondering how to apply a certain Scripture to your life, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the application for the verse.
If you are needing direction, ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to the truth of His Word.
Reading the Bible can be like reading a book with the author right next to you. The Holy Spirit inspired the words on the page. He knows why He picked them. You can ask!
Asking questions allows you to think deeper about what you are reading. When you pause to understand what you are reading instead of just checking it off your list for the day, you will open your heart to a whole new level of Bible understanding.
You will begin to make connections that you didn’t know were there. You will begin to see the Bible as a complete work from beginning to end, instead of just unconnected verses.
Asking questions will help you to see that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man (or woman) of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
3. Write in Your Bible
It is OK to write in your Bible! If a verse stands out to you, underline it. If you don’t understand something, highlight it. If you receive insight into a specific verse, write what you learned in the margin.
Sometimes you will be reading a verse and it will trigger a memory of another verse that means the same thing. Write the reference for that verse in the margin. It will help you begin to connect the dots of Scripture.
If you have a question, write it down. Then, write the answer when the Holy Spirit reveals it to you. If the Holy Spirit gives you insight into a specific verse, write it down!
Highlight words that stand out to you. I like to use Twistable Crayola Colored Pencils to color different words different colors. For example, every time there is a place, I color it green. Every time it says “God,” I color it yellow. Every time it says, “forgive,” I circle it with a dark pink colored pencil.
I also like to use Post-it Notes in my Bible because I often have more to write than will fit in the margin. Here is an example of one of my Bible pages:
It’s time to get started! Grab your Bible. Set a consistent time to read each day. Ask questions! And don’t be afraid to write down what you are learning in your Bible.
Kelly Joy's Blog
Bible Study
We all have a story about how God brought us to where we are now. Here’s mine:
When I was sixteen, I felt called to some type of full time ministry. At that time, I really had no idea what that would look like…to be honest, most days I still don’t 🙂 I figured I would marry a pastor and spend my days as a pastor’s wife.
However, I fell in love with a farmer! A couple of months after we married, we moved to Ellendale, ND so my farmer husband could go to Trinity Bible College. Maybe being a pastor’s wife was in my future. However, after a year and a half in Bible college, we realized that Brad just doesn’t feel called to be a pastor. So, we moved back to Fergus Falls, MN where he could finish his accounting degree from Minnesota State University Moorhead and continue farming.
I poured myself into our local church. I was on several committees and on the worship team. I taught Sunday School and helped with youth group. I did my best to fulfill what I thought God was calling me to do.
In January 2007, I decided I wanted to go back to school and finish my Bachelor’s degree. I had a two year Associates degree, but always wanted to finish four years. Brad had kept in contact with one of his teachers from Trinity Bible College. This teacher “happened” to be (yes, I know it was God) in charge of Trinity’s new distance education program. We contacted him the first week of January, and I started classes the second week of January. Aahh! That was faster than I had planned! But, that seems to be how God works in my life.
After two crazy years, I finished my Bachelor’s degree in Biblical Studies with a Church Ministries minor. During those two years, my heart for full time ministry began to grow. I had high hopes that as soon as I finished my degree, God would open the doors for me to begin some type of ministry. Not necessarily full time at this point, but something. Much to my disappointment, the doors did not open. I prayed. I talked to people. I grew my faith. However, in the end, Fergus Falls just didn’t seem to be the place where God wanted to use me.
Mother’s Day 2010, our pastor preached an amazing sermon on finances. I told him,”Best sermon on finances, worst Mother’s Day sermon!” He preached on how you can’t follow God’s plan for your life if you have consumer debt. At this point we had a car loan, a boat loan, and school loans- over $38,000 in debt! I left the sermon in tears because I really wanted to do what God wanted me to do. So we (I) took drastic steps! I sold everything that wasn’t tied down. I cut back on my spending. I paid off that debt! All of it! Within a couple months!! What a great feeling! I will never be in debt like that again!
Around that same time, we had a Sunday School class on margin (having extra in your life so you are not stressed). This really spoke to Brad. He realized that he had negative margin in his life regarding time. He had WAY more to do than he had hours in the day. After looking at his obligations (he couldn’t quit his job, we couldn’t get rid of the kids, he was stuck with me!), we both agreed that the thing that needed to go was farming.
Unfortunately, it was not that easy. We were connected to the farm: financially, practically, and emotionally. We couldn’t just walk away. We needed God to make it possible for farming to not be such a commitment. So Brad prayed and God answered. In less than three months, God had arranged everything so that we were able to drastically cut back on the amount of time farming was taking in our lives. Amazing! God is Amazing!!
The seed that we were supposed to move was planted about this time. We wrestled with it. It is a BIG decision to move your family across the country. We wanted to make sure.
In January, 2011, our pastor preached a sermon series called “One Month to Live.” He asked a lot of questions about living your life as if you only had one month to live, without regrets. Brad and I felt that it was time to make a decision regarding whether or not we were supposed to move. So we devoted our prayer time to hearing God’s voice in this area. We prayed and we prayed and we prayed. One day we would be sure we should move and the next we would be sure we should stay. We just didn’t know.
Then one Sunday morning in March, Brad said that he just couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave our house and the farm and all the complications that would mean. I said okay and prayed “God if you want us to move, you change his heart.” That same night after prayer at our church, we both looked at each other in the car and said “We’re supposed to move.” God had confirmed it in both our hearts. The question then changed from “If?” to “When and where?”
Texas had been on our hearts since January. (And all the Texans said, “Of course! Why would God call you anywhere but Texas!”) There was really never any question in our minds that we were supposed to move to Texas. In April, Brad started applying for jobs. In the middle of May, God started to move! Brad was contacted by Lone Star Ag Credit in Sherman, TX (an hour north of Dallas). They set up a phone interview for a couple days later. A few days after that, they flew Brad and I down to Sherman, TX for a face-to-face meeting. Two days later he was offered a job. And two and a half weeks after that, we packed up our family and moved to Texas!
We spent three years in Sherman, TX. They were great years! We made a lot of wonderful friends and really began to call Texas “home.” Brad loved his job and I was enjoying the ministry opportunities God had provided. I taught Bible Study at our church. I taught youth Sunday School and helped with the youth group on Wednesday nights. I hosted a Bible study in our home. It was great!
It was here in Sherman that God provided for me a mentor who continues to speak encouragement into my life. She opened my eyes to the truth about women in ministry. For years I had thought the only thing women were allowed to do in the church was teach children and work in the kitchen. She opened my eyes to the truth of the Gospel that says women are called to ALL areas of ministry: preachers, teachers, pastors, evangelists, missionaries, etc. It was at this time that I received my license to preach with the Assemblies of God.
God was moving, but I still felt as if I was waiting. Was this what God called me to? Is there more? Was I doing everything He had created me to do?
In May, 2014, God called us to move to Fort Worth, TX. Brad’s job transferred him to their corporate office. So once again we packed up everything we owned and moved. This time it wasn’t across the country, but it still felt like starting over.
A lot happened, in our first two years in Fort Worth. I wrote my first Bible study: Paused: Protecting Your Faith When God Says “Wait.” Waiting has become something I’m quite accustomed to! However, I look back at everything that has happened since I first felt called to ministry and I can’t believe how much I have learned! I would have been totally unprepared for ministry if God had opened the doors the day I graduated from Bible college. I guess He really does know best!
In 2015, I became an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. I don’t know exactly how God is going to use me or what He has planned for my life. But, I do know that whatever it is, it will be amazing!
Thanks for joining me on this journey!
Kelly Joy's Blog
Have you ever felt like your life was paused? On hold? Waiting? Standing still? Not moving forward?
There are so many times in life when we are called to wait. Perhaps you are waiting for a promise from God to be fulfilled. Maybe you are being mistreated or experiencing persecution while you wait. It’s possible you are waiting for the miraculous—a healing, a supernatural provision, or a divine intervention. Maybe you have been waiting and waiting and waiting, and there is no end in sight.
Waiting can be hard on your faith. It is in the pauses of life that our faith is tested. Do we really believe what God has spoken to us? Can we persevere even when our prayers seem to go unanswered? Will our faith withhold the test of time? Literally!
This six-week study will examine many Biblical examples of people who waited. We will look at their stories and see how they protected their faith while they waited on God. We will learn how to build, grow, and protect our own faith in the process. And we will see that through it all, God is Faithful!
Order Paused here:
Paused. Protecting Your Faith When God Says “Wait”
Kelly Joy's Blog
